A Report from Pery.

[Tap, tap….I say, is this thing working? Somebody put me on air…. Oh, I’m on air, righty oh.]

Good day, chaps. This is Reginald Peryweather Cornwalter reporting live from…[What’s all this about? Well, tell him not to send notes when I’m on air….click.] live from the Black Hills. Today’s weather will vary from very cold to very hot depending on where you are. [Yes, what is it? ….Oh, right] and probably middle temperatures too. As for the rain, there will be scattered storms in places so just put your umbrella in the car.

There are two urgent missing person’s reports…. [Yes? They are. Oh dear…] but they are just a dog named Larry, bad name for a dog, I think, and fluffy the cat. [….I was getting there.] Please don’t call in every dog or cat you see because they aren’t near you...probably.

Depending on when you hear this (because our station is so unreliable) I want to remind you to eat a good breakfast, lunch or dinner. Good for the health, you know. […I know but I was just covering all my grounds….I know it probably won’t even reach them until lunch. Stop interrupting.]

With today’s winds there are probably all kinds of things being broken so don’t forget to call your local handyman service. [Yes, I was about to tell them the name. What, do you think I’m new at this? ….Okay, so I am new at this but that is beside the point.] Call into Honey Do Services today! They're in the phone book!

This is Reginald Peryweather Cornwalter, signing out.